Across The Barricades
by whitecrossgirl
Summary: Belfast 1981; the height of The Troubles. Violence; sectarianism and hatred on both sides are part of daily life. When Catholic Merlin falls for Protestant Morgana, they are determined that their love will last despite the risks and danger. Mergana/Arwen
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Set in Belfast 1981; first proper Mergana story, in a way. Just a little experiment I'm working on. If I get enough feedback I'll continue it in between my exams and other stories.**

Darkness had fallen over Belfast and two figures stood entwined in an alleyway. The boy had his arms wrapped protectively around the girl as they pressed their mouths together in a slow yet passionate kiss. To society they were wrong. To society it was forbidden. Society insisted they could not be together. But as far as they were concerned; society could take a running jump. All that mattered right now was their hold and love for each other. A love which society claimed was to be desired yet in reality was feared and detested.

As they broke apart for air; Merlin's blue eyes met Morgana's green. The semi-ironic thought flashed across his mind that he should be the one with blue eyes whilst Morgana's were green but that thought was replaced by how much Morgana had changed his life over the past few months since they had met and Merlin was sure of only one thing now; no matter what happened next; this was a certainty.

"I love you," Merlin whispered as he kissed Morgana again.

Morgana grinned at Merlin as they broke apart. He was the first boy who'd ever said those words to her. And they were standing in an alleyway just in the no-man's land not too far from the Falls' Road part of Belfast where Merlin lived. It couldn't have been less romantic if he'd tried but Morgana knew one thing; no matter what shit occurred next between both sides of the Troubles; one thing mattered.

"I love you too," Morgana whispered but before they could say or do anything next; a loud, repetitive banging broke the semi-stillness of a Belfast night. Merlin drew back from Morgana and swore.

"That's Gwen's signal, you need to get going." Merlin warned. Morgana nodded and she gave Merlin a last quick kiss as she ran out of the alley towards her car. Merlin waited to hear her drive off before he turned and ran through the streets back to his housing estate. The banging of bin lids off the road was being echoed on every street and people were hurrying inside or out of the Falls. Nobody wanted to be caught out; especially not on the Falls. As Merlin tore up the road; he saw Gwen stop banging her own bin lid and jumping over the garden wall as Tom opened the door to let her into the house; Merlin tore down the street; a stitch in his side as he knocked on his own door and Hunith let her son into the house.

"Merlin I've told you a million times about being out at night." Hunith warned as Merlin stood bent double in the doorway, forcing air back into his lungs.

"I know Ma, I'm sorry." Merlin apologised as he stumbled into the living room and onto the sofa; even though Hunith had the small TV on; they could still hear the sounds of some lads recklessly attempting to force the British troops out of the Falls by throwing stones and bottles at them. Hunith shook her head and Merlin shrugged. He wasn't the one out causing trouble so she couldn't get mad at him.

Meanwhile Morgana drove down the road nervously. While she was technically out of the Falls area of Belfast, she knew she wouldn't be totally safe until she was home. It was dangerous for anyone to be out at night whenever the soldiers were patrolling but it was especially dangerous for her. These nights usually ended in violence and being the daughter of the head of the RUC did Morgana no favours whatsoever. It wasn't long before Morgana managed to get home safely. As Morgana walked into the house; Uther was still in his uniform and Arthur was slumped on the sofa watching TV. Uther frowned at his daughter.

"Where were you?" Uther asked.

"Morgause's, she had a fight with her boyfriend and I had to calm her down." Morgana lied quickly; knowing that if Uther rang Morgause, she would have cover for Morgana. It was partly why they were best friends; they had each other's backs. Yet Morgana knew that if Morgause knew where she'd really been, she wouldn't be so willing.

"Try and get home earlier in future. It's too dangerous for you to be out so late." Uther commented as the news came on with an update about the IRA hunger strikers. "They're just scum," Uther spat as various images of the H-Block and the hunger strikers filled the screen. Morgana turned and hurried up to her bedroom and flung herself onto her bed; letting her thoughts drift to Merlin.

At the other side of Belfast Merlin had done the same thing; unable to sit and watch the news with his mother and father as they debated the hunger strikers. Merlin lay on his bed and thought about Morgana.

Someday things would be different, they wouldn't have to run and hide anymore. They would be free to be together. There wouldn't be any barricades between them; physical or metaphorical. Yet in their hearts they knew now their situation was hopeless.

This is Belfast.

This is 1981.

Merlin is a Catholic.

Morgana is a Protestant.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three months earlier_

"This is so stupid, I can't believe we're doing this." Arthur commented as the minibus carrying members of the youth club travelled to the theatre.

"Shut up Arthur it'll be a laugh." Morgana dismissed.

"'A laugh'?" Morgause repeated. "Morgana are you mad, there's gonna be Fenians there. Chances are they'll probably blow the place up."

"That's enough Morgause," their youth leader, Annis called. Morgause shook her head and turned to the others.

"If any of them start on us I say we knock them out." Cenred added.

"They're not gonna start," Morgana shrugged and they all laughed at her.

"You're so naïve." Leon teased as they pulled up outside the theatre. Their youth club was taking part in a talent competition. Normally this wasn't seen as too much of a big deal but this was different. It was a cross community talent competition with Catholic and Protestant youth clubs from all over Belfast taking part. As they entered the theatre there were children and teenagers scattered around the hall. Some were already sitting in their seats to watch the show while others were practising songs, dance steps and recitations. As they waited for the competition to begin, Morgause elbowed Morgana and tilted her head to the side.

"State of those ones over there." Morgause scoffed. Morgana looked up to who Morgause was referring to. A group of four Catholic boys and a girl who looked to be around their age; seventeen. One of the boys was teasing his sister by stealing her dancing shoes to play a game of Keep Away with the other boys; one of whom was holding a strange drum-like instrument. Morgana studied the boy with the drum instrument. He was quite good looking, he had a wide grin as he laughed and joked with his friends. The boy looked at Morgana who quickly looked away.

"Don't look now Merlin but that girl with the dark hair's been staring at you." Gwen commented as she attempted to snatch her pumps back from Elyan who lightly tossed them at Lancelot. Merlin frowned.

"What girl?" he asked.

"The one with the two blonds. She's a good looking girl, don't know why she's staring at you." Gwaine joked. Merlin looked up in time to see the girl look away. She wasn't just pretty, she was stunning. Long black hair, kind green eyes and now a light blush was rising on her cheeks. Merlin looked at her before the blonde girl she was with gave him a dirty look and mouthed 'Fenian' at him. Merlin turned back to his friends, Gwaine, Gwen, Elyan and Lancelot and shrugged his shoulders.

"She's a Prod," Gwaine observed.

Lancelot clapped his shoulder sympathetically and Gwen used his distraction to steal her pumps back. "Hard luck mate."

As they watched the younger acts perform, both Merlin and Morgana occasionally glanced over at each other. There was something about the other which repeatedly drew their gaze. It wasn't long however before the under 18 entries were called to go backstage. Merlin picked up his bodhran drum and headed backstage with Gwen. As they walked up, they passed Morgana and Arthur and Leon who were also heading backstage. There were two different performers from two different youth clubs waiting backstage. One had a large group of dancers, another had a band then there was Merlin and Gwen, Arthur and Morgana and Leon. Merlin sat on the floor beside Gwen as she pulled off her trainers and pulled on her dancing pumps and pushed her curls off her face.

"Nervous?" Gwen asked. Merlin shook his head and once again glanced at Morgana who had an arm slung lazily around the blond boy's shoulders while she laughed at the red haired boy who held a guitar under his arm. Figures, a good looking girl like her was bound to have a boyfriend.

"Ok you're a brainless, donkey-faced loser who is going to die alone because no woman will ever love you." Morgana claimed with a grin. Arthur grinned at her as he thought up his response.

"You're a snivelling, worthless piece of dog crap that's so stupid if you were locked in a supermarket you'd starve to death." Arthur retorted and Morgana laughed.

"Good one," Morgana laughed as she looked around at the other competitors who were rehearsing quietly and her gaze landed on Merlin again who was talking to the dark skinned girl he had been with. Typical. The one time she finds a boy who seemed alright and he was a Catholic and had a girlfriend.

One by one the performers were called to the stage. The dance group were quite good and the band played a melody of Beatles songs which impressed the crowd. Then it was Merlin and Gwen's turn and they stood on the stage; now acutely aware of the looks some of the audience were giving them as Gwen got into position and Merlin fixed his hold on his bodhran. The only other performer who had done a somewhat traditional Irish act was a seven year old who had played the tin whistle. They looked at one another and Merlin began drumming out a fast and rhythmic beat on the bodhran, as he increased his tempo, Gwen began performing the accompanying reels, lightly hopping, spinning and jumping around the stage in time to the music. All too soon it was over and they received applause as well as the loud whoops coming from Gwaine, Elyan and Lancelot.

"Excuse us," Gwen commented as she slipped past Morgana and Arthur. Morgana smiled briefly at Merlin. She hadn't held much interest in Irish music before but the music Merlin had just played was almost hypnotic; the beat seemed to invade her body and Morgana had to resist the insane urge to try and dance along. Arthur had also been transfixed by Gwen; though Morgana highly suspected that was due to the way her skirt moved up and down to reveal tight-covered thighs in time to the music.

"Next up we have Arthur and Morgana performing their own sketch." The organiser announced. Morgana thumped Arthur and he pulled a face in retaliation as they took to the stage. The sketch was one they had created a few years ago and was an over exaggeration of their typical argumentative style. It generally got a good response especially whenever it turned to a semi-physical fight. The audience laughed along in the right places and the sketch ended the way it always did; with someone at the side of the side; in this case Leon, pretending to be a parent.

"What's going on in there?" Leon called from the side of the stage. Arthur released his hold on Morgana and they fixed themselves and smiled innocently at the audience while still lightly thumping each other or pulling the other's hair.

"Nothing Father," they chorused in an innocent tone to some applause.

As Leon took to the stage to perform his version of 'Sandy' from Grease, Arthur and Morgana slipped back into the audience to re-join the rest of their youth club. Morgause grinned at them and Arthur turned to Percival.

"What do you think?" he asked his friend.

"Hard to say; the ones before you were really good, so were the band." Percival replied. Arthur nodded as Leon finished and there was a short break for the judges to deliberate their decision. Morgana meanwhile excused herself and headed off to find a toilet and bumped into Merlin who was just heading back.

"Oh sorry," Morgana apologised. What was with her today? Every turn around that boy was there and now she was acting like a bumbling idiot.

"It's fine, I seen your act it was really funny. Is he really your brother?" Merlin asked, silently hoping on one answer; the fact the girl was a Protestant didn't faze him.

"Yeah, you and your friend were really good too." Morgana complimented.

"Thanks; I've been playing the bodhran since I was seven and Gwen's been dancing that long too. I'm Merlin by the way." Merlin said.

"Morgana. Merlin? It's not really an Irish name is it?" Morgana commented and Merlin shrugged.

"My full name's Merlin Seamus Cormac Finnegan Murphy O'Hanlon. Irish enough for you?" Merlin replied and grinned at Morgana. "Nah I'm just messing. My name's Merlin O'Connor."

"Morgana Pendragon," Morgana smiled briefly and Merlin nodded. "I should really be going,"

Merlin nodded and let her pass and as Morgana headed down the corridor, a reckless impulse took over Merlin. "Hey Morgana, would you like to meet up sometime? Go see a film or something?" Merlin asked, blushing slightly. Morgana turned and smiled at him.

"Yeah I'd like that." Morgana replied.

"Say next Saturday night?" Merlin offered. Morgana nodded and walked back to him, rummaging in her bag and producing a pen. She grabbed Merlin's hand and scribbled her phone number onto the pale skin.

"Sure," Morgan smiled. Merlin turned and walked off and Morgana walked down to the toilets and grinned to herself. Sure Merlin was a catholic but he seemed nice enough and if he did try something; well, being the daughter of the head of the RUC had some benefits. Merlin punched the air quickly as he bounded back to his friends just as the organisers of the talent competition began announcing the winners. While Merlin and Gwen came second after the band; Morgana's youth club won the overall competition alongside one of the other youth clubs. As the teenagers from both youth clubs were heading out of the hall; Cenred made sure to shove into Gwaine and Elyan.

"Watch where you're going!" Gwaine snapped.

"Why what are you gonna do? Pull out an Armalite?" Cenred snapped.

"Oh you're so funny; looks like Prods really do have no brains." Elyan retorted.

"Lads leave it," Gwen reasoned but both sets of teenagers had sensed blood.

"Yeah leave it and at the same time leave our country." Morgause commented with a smirk.

"It's our country. If anyone doesn't belong here it you lot." Gwaine claimed.

"Yeah right, why don't you do something you're good at like strapping bombs to cars or shooting innocent people." Cenred claimed.

"Like none of your lot hasn't done that to us." Lancelot retorted.

"All of you stop it, my group get out and onto the bus now." Annis snapped as the young youth club leader gestured for them to move along, Ciaran who ran Merlin and Gwen's youth club did the same. As they got onto their bus, Cenred and Morgause both called back 'God save the Queen' loudly and the boys retorted with 'Up the Ra'. As she got onto the bus; Morgana caught Merlin's gaze and smiled apologetically. Merlin nodded and tapped his hand where Morgana had scribbled her house number.

Morgana sat down across the seats; putting her feet up as Arthur flung himself into the seat across from her while Annis lectured them about being well behaved and not starting arguments deliberately. Arthur frowned at Morgana as she looked out the window and watched the streets of Belfast fly past. It wasn't long before the walls began to develop various murals and the Union Jack flags appeared as they reached the suburbs. The bus pulled back into the gates of the community centre and they got off the bus. Leon bid them a good bye and walked home. Arthur and Morgana walked to their shared car and quickly dropped onto their stomachs to check the underside of the car before getting in and driving home.

"Are you alright? You were quiet the whole way home." Arthur commented.

"I'm fine; I just don't think Cenred and Morgause should have started on those lads back there. They didn't do anything to them." Morgana reasoned. Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

"You know what they're like but it's not like those ones just took it; they gave as good as they got." Arthur replied. Morgana nodded and suddenly smirked at Arthur.

"Speaking of which; I noticed you liked that dancer they had earlier. Couldn't take your eyes off her." Morgana commented. Arthur turned scarlet but shrugged.

"Yeah she was a good dancer, so what. Besides you were staring at her friend all day." Arthur retorted.

"Was not; he's not my type." Morgana denied.

"Catholic?" Arthur suggested. Morgana hesitated and did some quick thinking.

"No, he's too skinny." Morgana claimed as Arthur pulled into their house.

"Whatever, what time did Dad say he'd be home at?" Arthur asked.

"Don't know," Morgana replied and she went up to her room. It'd been such a weird day. She had not only met a Catholic boy but she'd agreed to go on a date with him. Was she mad? These days even if someone thought you were on first name terms with a Catholic that was enough. Morgana had heard of different people getting beat up or worse because they didn't care that someone went to mass instead of church. Morgana just couldn't understand where all the hatred came from; just how different were Catholics and Protestants?

"I swear to God I was ready to swing for that git!" Gwaine commented.

"Let it go Gwaine they aren't worth it." Merlin replied.

"Why should we let it go? They always give us shit!" Elyan retorted.

"Yeah but you give it back. Merlin's right, just let it go and be glad Helios and Nimueh weren't there otherwise it would have been mental." Gwen stated calmly. Gwaine and Elyan scowled but remained silent as the bus travelled back through Belfast and towards the Falls. Merlin stared vacantly out the window as they passed the St Mary's campus and headed towards their small community centre which was located next to the local football pitch. Gwen who was next to him frowned suddenly at his hand.

"Merlin, what's that on your hand?" Gwen asked. Merlin quickly covered it with his other hand.

"Nothing," Merlin denied.

"Is it a phone number? Let me see." Gwen claimed and pulled Merlin's hand free and studied it. "Morgana, isn't that the girl with the dark hair?"

"Not so loud," Merlin muttered, Gwen looked concerned and stunned.

"Merlin you do know that girl's a Protestant, don't you?" Gwen whispered and Merlin shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah so what; it's just one date." Merlin replied. Gwen shook her head at her friend. She knew better than to argue with Merlin.

"Your funeral." Gwen stated morosely.

Merlin ignored the last comment. Merlin didn't see the point in all the violence. Catholic versus Protestant; Irish versus British, nationalist versus loyalist; whatever way you wanted to put it; it was all just so stupid. Merlin didn't have anything against Protestants but it was different for each person. Helios and Nimueh despised Protestants but their parents were deeply republican and they had been raised that way. Gwaine, Elyan and Lancelot were more distrustful but wouldn't deliberately try and cause a fight but they had reasons not to be distrustful. Gwaine's father had served an interment sentence on a false charge; Lancelot's parents had been killed by the UDF and Elyan's mother had been killed by a car bomb which the UDA had claimed responsibility for. Merlin and Gwen however took a backseat; they didn't see the point in the violence but were aware of the importance of self-preservation. Anywhere in Northern Ireland; the main game being played was the one of survival. Don't go looking for trouble and you won't have as much. If anything starts you don't get involved; you walk in the opposite direction and you stand more of a chance of surviving. Every time something happens; someone gets hurt or killed or something gets blown up; there is always the same thing; a politician or RUC member or some high-ranking member of the British Forces on the TV or in the newspapers claiming that unity was more important than violence yet they didn't seem to understand just how impossible unity was.

But if it was impossible then why did Merlin ask Morgana out?

Simple really; Merlin didn't care about Morgana's background. He wanted to know Morgana the person not Morgana the Protestant and he was certain she felt the same. They wouldn't know how impossible unity was if they didn't try.

"Merlin, come on." Gwen said as the bus reached the centre and they got off. Helios and Nimueh were waiting on them looking furious. Merlin felt a sense of dread; what had happened now?

"Did you hear?" Nimueh asked.

"What?" Lancelot asked.

"About H-Block?" Helios replied.

"What about it?" Gwaine asked.

"Francis Hughes started his hunger strike, said on the news. They think that's how it's going to be done. Different prisoners are starting at different times; put pressure on the Brits." Nimueh explained.

"Here's hoping it will." Elyan commented.

"Of course it will; everyone's going to be supporting them; whoever goes on hunger strike will be martyrs for Irish freedom." Helios claimed.

"Do they know who else is going to do it aside from him and Bobby Sands?" Merlin asked.

"Course they don't; they'd be able to stop them if they did." Lancelot reasoned.

"Whatever; we should head home; they weren't round here last night, probably will be tonight." Gwen shrugged and the teenagers all headed their separate ways. Merlin walked with Gwen and Elyan and the three of them were silent; lost in their own thoughts. Whenever Merlin reached his house; Hunith and Balinor were in the living room watching the TV.

"How did you get on?" Hunith asked.

"We came second; some other youth club won it overall." Merlin replied as he set his bodhran onto the sofa.

"Any hassle?" Balinor asked.

"Some tried to start on us but nothing happened really; they were just saying stuff." Merlin shrugged and turned his gaze to the TV. His mind however was fixated on the girl he had met earlier. Merlin glanced at his hand and smiled to himself. Whatever happened; it was worth a try.

Morgana sat slumped on the sofa; lazily channel flicking while she thought about Merlin. There was something about Merlin which intrigued her. She knew it was reckless even being friends with him but there was just something about him which was different. Even though they had just met; something just seemed right if they were to be friends or even more. Maybe everyone else was wrong when they said Catholics and Protestants couldn't mix. Maybe they could; maybe she and Merlin were proof that faith didn't matter. Just as Morgana reached this thought she flicked onto UTV in time for the news to come on.

"Our top story tonight; a second IRA inmate in the H-Block at Maghberry prison has gone on hunger strike. Francis Hughes who is serving a life sentence for various offences including the murder of a British soldier began his hunger strike today. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher had this to say."

Morgana flicked the television off and stared into space. Whatever happened between her and Merlin; things had just gotten a whole lot more difficult.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for your reviews and support guys. As usual I don't own anything.**

On Monday night Merlin decided to ring Morgana. He waited until he was alone in the house before he pressed the number he had scribbled down whenever he had returned home after the talent show and waited. For a few minutes the dial tone buzzed before it was answered.

"Hello?" Morgana didn't answer; instead a male voice answered the phone. Merlin hesitated and cleared his throat.

"Hello is Morgana there?" Merlin asked before he did some quick thinking. "I need to ask her about some homework."

"Hang on," the voice replied and Merlin could hear his muffled summon and footsteps bounding down the stairs before Morgana shooing the answer away and picking up the phone.

"Hello?" Morgana asked.

"Hi it's Merlin." Merlin replied, suddenly nervous. Which was weird. He had never been nervous talking to girls on the phone before.

"Oh hi how are you?" Morgana asked.

"I'm alright, so are we still on for the cinema on Saturday?" Merlin asked.

"Sure; do you want to meet in the city centre at around six?" Morgana offered.

"Yeah that's grand." Merlin replied.

"Cool, I'll see you then." Morgana said.

"Bye," Merlin replied and they both hung up. Merlin punched the air, he hadn't really had a girlfriend since Freya moved to Dublin and he could just tell that Morgana was something special.

Morgana hung up the phone grinning and Arthur stood in the kitchen doorway staring at his sister with a sly grin on his face and Morgana realised that he'd overheard the conversation.

"Who was that?" Arthur asked.

"None of your business." Morgana replied.

"Well it was a boy and you've arranged to meet up so what's wrong with him? Is he blind, deaf or just stupid?" Arthur teased and Morgana thumped him on the arm.

"Shut up at least I'm going out with someone unlike you." Morgana retorted as she returned up the stairs to her room but instead of doing her homework, Morgana turned to her wardrobe and began rummaging through the clothes trying to find something to wear on Saturday night.

"You asked her then?" Gwen asked as they sat on the side-lines of the football field, watching Gwaine, Elyan and Lancelot train.

"Yeah, I mean I really like her and I haven't gone out with anyone since Freya." Merlin shrugged, Gwen nodded and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm not saying I don't approve of this Merlin but I just think you should be careful. You know what happened to Sean whenever people found out he'd been with some girl from the Shankhill and that was before the Prods got him." Gwen warned. "Does your ma and da know?"

"I told them I'm going to the cinema. What are you all doing Saturday night?" Merlin asked.

"We're probably just going to go to the disco, y'know?" Gwen shrugged before she smiled at Merlin. "Do you think you'll have a good time?"

"I'm hoping so." Merlin replied honestly.

On Saturday evening Morgana got the bus to the city centre and saw that Merlin was already waiting for her. As they greeted each other there was a moment of awkward silence before Morgana smiled at him.

"I don't normally do this sort of thing, go out with a lad I hardly know. I mean I don't know anything about you." Morgana commented.

"Same. Well let me see, Merlin O'Connor, seventeen years old, born in Armagh city on September 14th. I'm an only child and I moved to Belfast when I was four. Ma's a shop manager, Da's a lorry driver. You?" Merlin asked.

"Morgana Pendragon, seventeen, born and raised in Belfast on October 7th. An older brother, Arthur, who's eighteen and my dad, my dad's the head of the RUC." Morgana admitted. Merlin's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Really?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't get you arrested if I don't have a good time tonight." Morgana commented, Merlin couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh Jesus, my Ma and Da would not let me hear the end of it if that happened." Merlin joked before his expression grew serious. "How about we forget I'm Catholic and you're Protestant and instead we go watch some crappy film and try and one-up each other with stupid random stories?"

"A man after my heart." Morgana grinned as she took his hand and they walked towards the cinema.

Neither of them could decide what film to see and instead they decided to just hang around the city centre, laughing, joking and chatting. As they bonded, they discovered that they were both Queen fans, Merlin loved Doctor Who but Morgana had never watched it. Her favourite team was Liverpool and caused constant conflict between her and Arthur who was a die-hard Arsenal fan. Merlin explained he wasn't into sport but supported both Armagh and Antrim for Gaelic Football and Hurling respectively. Merlin attempted to explain the basics of the games but Morgana just ended up being confused by the pointing system and instead changed the subject to what they wanted to do in the future.

"I'm not sure; I would like to go into social work. What about you?" Merlin asked.

"Either psychology or counselling. I want to work with troubled or bereaved people." Morgana replied.

"Where would you want to go? Queens, Jordanstown or are you planning to get out of Northern Ireland?" Merlin asked.

"I don't know, Arthur's looking to do physiotherapy at Queens though. What about your friend Gwen?" Morgana asked.

"I think she's looking to do something with her dancing. I'm starving, do you want to get some chips or something?" Merlin asked.

"Sure, sounds good." Morgana replied as they wandered down a side street towards a chippy. However at the end of the alleyway a group of men were loitering and they stood in front of their path, blocking their way. Merlin and Morgana quickly scanned the men. All of them were in jeans and plain jackets with hoods over their heads. It was impossible to tell whether they were Catholic or Protestant. The city centre of Belfast was considered neutral territory. It was more the residential areas which were divided into Catholic and Protestant. However it also meant the city centre was a free-for-all not just for peaceful people but also for the more violent factions of society.

"Excuse us," Merlin said.

"That depends." The first stated.

"On what?" Morgana asked.

"Whether or not you can recite the Hail Mary." The second said.

_Crap!_ Both Merlin and Morgana thought. It was a common trap which got people beaten up. If a Catholic recited it in front of Protestants, he gave himself away and Protestants didn't say the Hail Mary in church services. Morgana raised her head defiantly even though her stomach was clenching with nerves.

"And if we don't?" Morgana asked.

"It'll be better of you don't find out." Another stated. Merlin and Morgana looked at each other.

"Start us off then," Merlin challenged but before any of them could do anything, people began running and yelling to get back. The group of them charged back down the alleyway as a loud explosion boomed from the street along with shattering glass and the loud scream of a car alarm. Merlin grabbed Morgana's hand and they sprinted away from the scene as fast as they could. Once they were a few streets away, they stopped for breath, leaning against a wall.

"Belfast, gotta love it." Morgana quipped sarcastically as she rubbed her ears, attempting to stop the loud ringing that was echoing in her ears. Merlin nodded and as they leant against the wall, Merlin leant over and kissed Morgana quickly. As they pulled apart, Morgana grinned at Merlin.

"If you're going to do that, at least do it properly." Morgana said as she pulled Merlin back in for a proper kiss. As they stood kissing, a group of half-drunk passers-by joked for them to 'get a room' and they broke apart blushing. Merlin took Morgana's hand and they continued down the street until they came to a Chinese takeaway that was still open. Already news about the car bomb had broken but there was a fairly relaxed attitude towards it. Nobody was hurt or killed so it wasn't seen as too big a deal; they overheard one person sarcastically comment that tonight must have been 'amateur night'. As Merlin and Morgana handed their money over to the man behind the counter and collected their food to eat as they walked towards a taxi firm. There was little else for them to do and as the sky darkened; it was becoming more and more unsafe to be out. There had already been one bomb attack and it was only going on ten. The night would most likely only get worse and neither Merlin nor Morgana were daft enough to think they wouldn't get into any more sort of trouble. Trouble and Belfast went hand-in-hand these days. Even as they entered the taxi company, the man behind the counter raised an eyebrow at the hand-holding teenagers who requested separate taxis to opposite sides of Belfast.

Whenever Morgana got home, Arthur was sitting in the living room watching a movie with Leon and Percival however he decided to interrogate Morgana about her date first. It was his duty as an older brother. Uther had been called in late due to the bomb.

"So who is this guy anyway? Do I know him?" Arthur asked.

"He's a guy I met a few weeks ago and no, you don't know him. He's sound though, I had a good time." Morgana replied.

"Did you hear about the bomb in the city centre?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah that's why we called it a night early. How are you lads?" Morgana asked.

"Grand, you?" Percival answered.

"Can't complain." Morgana shrugged and headed up to her room and pulled off her jacket. She grinned as she thought about her evening with Merlin. Aside from the bomb obviously, it had been perfect. She really, really liked Merlin. He was cute; he was funny and a great kisser. Morgana climbed into bed and flicked off the light, allowing thoughts of Merlin to fill her head.

Merlin's taxi dropped him off at the edge of the Falls and Merlin handed over the money before walking down the road. It was all quiet in his half of Belfast tonight. The Falls was like the Shankhill; both had possibly the worst reputations in Belfast but the people who lived there weren't bad people; obviously some people gave the Falls its reputation but they were the minority. As Merlin turned the corner he came face to face with Helios and Nimueh.

"What's up?" Merlin asked as he fell into step with them.

"Not much, did you hear about what happened to Grainne O'Reilly?" Nimueh asked.

"No what?" Merlin asked.

"Her brother got done, they searched his house last night. Someone ratted them out and apparently a whole load of shit was found; guns, bombs, the lot. Stupid bastard." Helios claimed.

"What's happening to him?" merlin asked.

"Don't know but if they find who it was; he's going to get lynched." Nimueh shrugged as they reached Merlin's house and he went to go inside where Hunith and Balinor were waiting up on him.

"Are you alright son?" Hunith asked.

"Yeah fine," Merlin shrugged.

"How was the film?" Balinor asked.

"Didn't see anything, we just hung around the place. Heard the bomb go off but didn't see anything." Merlin replied.

"Anyone hurt?" Hunith asked.

"Don't think so; I'm heading to bed." Merlin replied as he went up to his room. As he thought about his night with Morgana, he couldn't help but smile. Aside from that one thing, he'd had a good night. He hadn't had a girlfriend since Freya moved away so it was good to be dating again. Yet his thoughts turned back to Grainne O'Reilly's brother. Grainne had been in his form class at school until the end of last year, he wasn't sure but he thought she was doing hairdressing now. As for her brother, well everybody knew what Sean O'Reilly was like. Ever since Merlin could remember, Sean had been obsessed with the IRA and deeply republican; believing that all 32 counties of Ireland should be united and free from British rule. In a way, Merlin wasn't surprised he was arrested but he was surprised that someone had grassed him up. Grassers weren't liked people whether they supported the IRA or UDA and whoever the grasser was; he or she was going to really pay. Not for the first time, Merlin wondered what life would be like if things were different.

Over the next few weeks, Merlin and Morgana would meet up some evenings after school or on weekends and spent time together. While they were officially dating and their friends knew; neither of them had taken the next step to introduce the other to their friends. Things might have been going great for them however in Northern Ireland as a whole, the same couldn't be said. With the Easter Rising memorial in April leading to violence and several more prisoners going on hunger strike in the H-Block, it was little wonder that Merlin and Morgana had to be careful about their relationship.

On May the Fifth both Merlin and Morgana were sitting at home talking to one another on the phone. Morgana had pulled the phone into the living room to watch TV as she chatted to Merlin and Merlin could hear the TV over the sound of Hunith preparing them dinner. However as they chatted away, both were suddenly aware of the sound of the TV as it stunned them into silence.

"_We interrupt this programme to bring a breaking news story. Bobby Sands, the IRA inmate and recently elected MP for Fermanagh and South Tyrone has died. Sands who was twenty seven, died after being on hunger strike for sixty six days and the news has already generated responses from the Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, SinnFein president Gerry Adams and the people of Northern Ireland."_

Both Merlin and Morgana sat in silence. Neither of them had to be told what this meant. Life in Belfast just got a whole lot more dangerous for both of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry I haven't updated in so long but I was unsure of how I was going to do this. I wanted to add more drama and a bit of conflict so here goes.**

"I want you to meet my dad." Morgana said suddenly as they wandered around the city centre one evening in early July. School was finished and they were able to spend more time together. Over the past few weeks it hadn't been easy. Bobby Sands' death led to rioting all over Belfast and the tension had been rising more than usual. Merlin looked at Morgana unsurely.

"Would it be safe for me to go? I mean it's almost the Twelfth." Merlin reminded.

"Dad won't mind and it'll be fine." Morgana reassured and Merlin nodded in agreement. As they reached the bus depot and waited for the bus that would take them out towards Morgana's house, Merlin glanced at his clothes self-consciously. Jeans, trainers and a plain grey hooded jumper. There was nothing that would mark him out as Catholic but he was still unsure. Morgana seemed to sense his unease and took his hand and squeezed it as the bus rolled in and they climbed on. As the city background changed from buildings and shops to houses, the residential areas were draped in blue, red and white bunting, union jacks, loyalist graffiti and various murals.

"This way," Morgana said as they got off and walked down the street. As they rounded the corner they came face to face with Morgause and Cenred who had been in mid-conversation until they spotted Morgana and Merlin.

"Hey where have you been, I've hardly seen you." Morgause commented.

"Just around town, what's up?" Morgana asked.

"Getting ready for the Twelfth." Cenred shrugged before he turned to Merlin and studied him. "Who are you?"

"My name's Merlin," Merlin replied and Morgause looked from him to Morgana. So this was the Merlin that her friend had been seeing. Interesting.

"Nice to meet you Merlin, we have to go get tri-colours. If you're looking for Arthur he's on the green with Leon and Percival and they're working on the bonfire." Morgause commented and she and Cenred walked off. Merlin let out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding in and Morgana smiled reassuringly at him.

"It's fine, you know I told them you're a Protestant who recently moved to Belfast from Craigavon but you don't live around here. They're not that bad anyway." Morgana commented. Merlin shrugged his shoulders as he recalled the day a few months prior when he and Morgana met, Morgause and Cenred had been the ones who'd tried to start a fight. Luckily for him it seemed Morgause and Cenred hadn't recognised him.

"Alright, so am I going to meet your pain in the backside brother or not?" Merlin asked as they continued down the road until they came to the green. Arthur, Leon and Percival were with other teenagers and kids who were building a tower of crates, pallets and tyres to be burnt on the eleventh. As they crossed the green, Arthur spotted them and climbed down and approached them.

"Bonfire looks good." Morgana commented.

"Yeah it's coming along great." Arthur replied as he turned to Merlin. "So I take it you're Merlin then."

"Yeah, Arthur isn't it?" Merlin answered. Arthur nodded before grinning.

"So Merlin what is it about my sister? Are you deaf, blind or just stupid?" Arthur quipped. Morgana hit him a dead arm and Merlin tightened his hold on her hand and smiled.

"I'm not deaf and it's a good thing I'm not blind because then I couldn't see how beautiful your sister is. However I would say you're the stupid one because you don't realise how class your sister is." Merlin retorted. Morgana laughed at the dumbstruck expression on Arthur's face before he got a hold of himself.

"You seem familiar, have we met before?" Arthur asked. There was something about this Merlin that seemed awfully familiar to him. He just couldn't pace where they had met before. Merlin did some quick thinking, Arthur may be Morgana's brother but that could give him all the more reason to kick Merlin's ass if he revealed himself.

"No I'd remember meeting someone as ugly as you." Merlin stated. Unable to come up with a good comeback, Arthur turned to Morgana.

"So what are you doing this evening?" Arthur asked them.

"Not sure yet. We might go back to Merlin's. What time will Dad be home at?" Morgana asked. Arthur checked his watch; half six.

"Should be soon enough. I'm going to stay a while longer to get this bonfire built up." Arthur replied and he returned to the tower and pulled himself back up to help Leon and Percival lay down the bits of wood being handed up to them. Morgana and Merlin walked down the street before coming to a cul-de-sac and stopping outside a medium sized detached house. Morgana let them in and led Merlin into the living room.

"Make yourself at home." Morgana commented as she went to put them something to drink. Merlin took the time to look around the living room. It was well decorated with sizeable furniture and a fairly big TV in the corner. Merlin knew that with Uther's job, Morgana was wealthier than him but it didn't bother him. Merlin looked at the various photographs on the walls. Two were portrait shots of Arthur and Morgana as toddlers; a third was a wedding photo of a dark haired man and a blonde woman and in the middle was a family portrait. There were four people in the picture. Morgana, Arthur and the couple from the wedding portrait; obviously their parents. Morgana had told him that her mother had died when she was younger but Merlin hadn't pressed her for details; it clearly upset her. He understood that.

"She died when I was two."

Merlin turned to see Morgana set two glasses of coke on the table. Merlin sat down on the sofa and took a sip of the hot liquid. It was a bit too milky for his taste but he didn't say anything. Morgana looked at the pictures of her mother and turned back to Merlin. Merlin didn't say anything, he knew that if Morgana was going to speak, it would be of her own accord.

"It was coming up to Arthur's birthday and she was getting him a present. I don't really remember it but Dad had taken us to the park and when we got home, two of his colleagues were waiting outside the door. She'd collapsed in the shopping centre. She'd had a brain haemorrhage." Morgana replied.

"I'm sorry," Merlin replied.

"It's alright but it was hard sometimes; knowing she wasn't there. It used to really annoy me when other girls would complain about their mums not letting them go out or not buying them something they wanted because they still had their mums. I didn't. Dad's alright; I mean the three of us do get on but I sometimes wonder if things would be different." Morgana explained.

"I know what you mean. Lancelot's parents died when he was five. He used to live in Derry but moved here to live with his granny after they died. Once when I was twelve I was dying to see this film in the cinema but they wouldn't let me go because it was rated 18. I was complaining to Lancelot that they were ruining my life; I couldn't stand them treating me like a kid and I remember he looked me dead in the eyes and just said '_You're lucky to have them.'_ it made me feel about two inches tall but it worked." Merlin explained.

"Sounds awful but I think people need that guilt trip sometimes. To remind them of what matters in life. Your parents sound alright though." Morgana said.

"They are, I mean Dad's always up and down the country with his lorry but we're alright and my mum's really nice. Bit overprotective but nice. She's one of those people who when you come round to ours; will be offering you tea the moment you walk through the door." Merlin grinned as the front door closed and a man's voice called.

"Anyone home?"

"Living room." Morgana replied and a man came through the door wearing an RUC uniform. Merlin could tell at once that Uther Pendragon was not someone to get on the wrong side of. Dark haired and stern faced with a scar on his burrowed forehead, he studied the teenage boy sitting in his living room next to his daughter. Merlin got to his feet and offered his hand.

"Mr Pendragon," Merlin said politely. Uther shook his hand briefly before turning to Morgana who raised her head and looked her father in the eyes.

"Morgana can I have a word with you," Uther said as he turned to walk into the kitchen. Morgana cast her eyes at Merlin and followed her father. It wasn't like he'd come home to find them kissing on the sofa. Besides she was seventeen, she could do what she wanted.

"Morgana, did you think it was wise bringing that boy here?" Uther asked without preamble.

"Dad I'm seventeen and we were just talking." Morgana replied. What kind of girl did he think she was?

"That's not what I mean and you know it." Uther snapped and Morgana faltered. "Morgana when you told me that you were dating a Catholic I warned you to be careful. Bringing him here so close to the twelfth is asking for trouble. Not just for you two but for all of us. I spend my time working to make sure the two of you are safe. The least you can do is not risk your safety by being with this boy."

"Dad be honest. If I hadn't told you he was Catholic and I only did that by mistake; would you honestly think he was? Is there any indication right now that would say he's Catholic? Is he reciting rosaries or singing Irish songs or something like that? Just give him a chance, please? I really like him Dad." Morgana pleaded. Uther looked at his daughter and sighed. Morgana had him wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. Uther nodded and they returned into the living room where Merlin was waiting awkwardly for them to return.

"Sorry about that," Uther said.

"I understand, when I told my parents about Morgana they almost flipped. My dad threatened to put me into the priesthood." Merlin joked with a smile. "Seriously though they did warn me to be careful. They understand that I really like Morgana, she makes me happy and that's what matters to them. They know I'm not daft enough to tell everyone I meet that I'm dating a Protestant and my friends know about Morgana, they just don't know she's protestant."

"I see," Uther nodded.

"I'm not ashamed of our relationship if that's what you think. Actually I'm proud; we're surrounded by so much hatred and being able to find some happiness despite our differences is amazing. The past few months with Morgana have been the best of my life and I wouldn't change them for anything." Merlin explained honestly.

"Very well then. I shall expect to be seeing more of you then won't I? I would advise you to stay away for the next week or so. For your own safety of course." Uther suggested.

"Of course," Merlin nodded and as Uther left the room, he flung himself back onto the sofa and rubbed his forehead. "I thought I was a goner."

"You're not the only one. I'd hate to have to call the cops on my own dad." Morgana joked.

"Yeah but he's right though. Nothing personal, I just don't fancy having my head kicked in." Merlin stated as Morgana flicked on the TV and they curled up on the sofa together.

The Twelfth of July came around and the whole of Northern Ireland seemed on edge. The marches and parades had gone underway without too much fuss and bother. Yet as the night fell, it was a different story. There were fighting, rioting and clashes all over Belfast. People were fighting each other, fighting the police and in a small side street; two groups of youths had come face to face looking for a fight.

In the Falls, a group of teenagers and young adults, including Helios and Nimueh had talked about going out tonight but Merlin hadn't gone; Hunith and Balinor had warned him about what they would do if he was ever brought home by the police or arrested for rioting. Merlin could hear the distant wail of sirens as well as someone knocking on the front door. Merlin opened it to reveal Gwen standing on the doorstep looking frantic.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked.

"Elyan, Gwaine and Lancelot have gone. Da, Sinead, Molly and Brendan are looking everywhere for them. We need to find them now!" Gwen explained in a hurry.

"Why did they go?" Merlin asked. It wasn't like the lads to go out looking for fights, not even on the Twelfth.

"I don't know but we need to find them." Gwen explained. Merlin hurried up the stairs to pull on a pair of trainers before he left the house and he and Gwen sprinted as fast as they could to find their friends before something happened.

Morgana hadn't known how it escalated so quickly. She and Arthur had gone with the others to watch the parades and hang out. The next thing she knew everything had gone crazy. People were fighting, throwing whatever they could get their hands on and yelling abuse. Morgana ran through the fray looking for Arthur. Uther was working tonight and if he found out they were involved like this then he would kill them. Morgana yelled in pain as a plastic bottle bounced off her head and she saw Morgause and Cenred throwing whatever missiles hit them, back into the crowd. It was absolute chaos. As she wove through the crowd trying to find Arthur or the other lads, Morgana bumped into someone.

"Merlin?" Morgana shouted to be heard above the din. Merlin looked just as shocked to see her.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin yelled.

"Trying to find Arthur, we need to get out of here." Morgana replied as Gwen pulled on Merlin's arm.

"They're over there; I'm going to try and get them." Gwen shouted and she and Merlin sprinted towards where Elyan, Gwaine and Lancelot were fighting three Protestant boys their age. Morgana turned as she saw a flash of blond hair; it was Arthur and he was fighting a tall black boy with a shaved head. Morgana ran over and helped pull him off her brother.

"We need to get out of here!" Morgana roared at Arthur. As they dodged blows, ducked stones and bottles, Morgana bumped into someone who looked at her, looked away and slid their hand into their jacket. Arthur moved ahead and managed to get Leon and Percival who were also trying to get away from the fighting.

"What are you three playing at?" Merlin yelled as he and Gwen managed to get the others away from the people they were fighting. Not too far away Nimueh was practically directing the attack, yelling at some to get more stones and bottles or gesturing to new people to fight. As the five of them attempted to move through the crowd, it happened.

_**BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

In those few seconds everything froze. The entire crowd fell silent, stopped fighting. One person slid the gun back into their jacket and all hell broke loose for another reason. Everyone began shoving and yelling. The crowd were now united, not in violence but in fear. They were mostly teenagers; none of them had guns and none of them were willing to stick around for more shots to be fired. In the jostling and escaping crowd several things happened at once.

Arthur grabbed Morgana's hand.

Morgana caught Merlin's eye.

The two of them ran away with Leon and Percival.

Gwen fell to the ground, hands over her stomach.

Elyan and Gwaine ripped off their jackets while Lancelot sprinted to get help.

Merlin could only stare at the blood spreading across Gwen's abdomen.

Merlin was in a state of shock as he knelt beside Gwen and grabbed her bloody hands. Merlin looked at the now practically deserted street. Aside from the stones, shattered glass and bottles, it seemed almost impossible that just moments ago there had been dozens of people battling one another for no reason other than one difference that couldn't be overcome. Yet all around him the sounds of the rioting and violence that was still happening all over Belfast was reinforcing the fact that that hatred was never going to go away.

After what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics arrived along with some police officers. While Elyan got into the ambulance with his sister, the police attempted to take statements from Merlin, Gwaine and Lancelot who were all in shock and unable to tell them anything. The three of them were put into the back of the police car and slowly returned home. Hunith and Balinor were waiting up for Merlin and as he was brought into the house, the police officer briefly explained that he was in shock and they would need him to make a statement in the morning. As Balinor shut the front door, Hunith gently guided Merlin up to his room. Merlin flung himself on his bed but couldn't sleep. All he could think about was Gwen lying on the ground covered in blood. Merlin wasn't much of a praying person but as he was unable to sleep, he joined his hands and began murmuring prayers over and over again hoping that his friend would pull through.

By breaking every speed limit in the city, Arthur managed to get him, Morgana, Leon and Percival back to their street as quickly as he could. None of them were able to say anything and while Leon and Percival slowly made their way back to their houses, Arthur wrapped an arm around Morgana and guided her into the house. She had seen the girl get shot and she had seen who done it. As Arthur went to wash his face, Morgana stumbled into her bedroom and flopped onto her bed. Morgana sat up all night; the look on the girl's face as she was shot; the look on Merlin's and the knowledge of who had fired the gun meant Morgana was denied any sleep.

Both Merlin and Morgana did some serious thinking that night. Were they wrong to think they could be together? The violence of the night had hit home just how much hatred existed between both sides of the population, not just of Belfast but Northern Ireland as a whole. Had they just been fooling themselves all along? Was it possible that maybe the worlds of Catholic and Protestant weren't supposed to integrate after all? As dawn broke; they each had their answer.

_No._

_Maybe._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: It's been so long since I wrote anything for this; I am so sorry for not updating sooner but I fell out of writing this story and took me until now to get it back. To recap, it's 1981 and the middle of The Troubles. Merlin's a Catholic, Morgana's a Protestant and they're risking it all to follow their hearts. When we left it last, it was July 12****th**** and a street clash ended with Gwen getting shot; now it's the morning after.**

"Merlin, phone!"

Hunith's summons was what broke through Merlin's brooding and he slowly pulled himself to his feet, his stiff muscles protesting at the movements. Merlin stumbled down the stairs and took the phone from Hunith who gasped slightly before handing him the phone. Merlin glanced down to see that his t-shirt was stained scarlet with blood. Gwen's blood.

"Hello?" Merlin asked, hoping it wasn't Morgana.

"It's me," Gwaine replied. "Elyan just rang me."

"How is she?" Merlin asked, his lack of sleep forgotten in the concern for his friend.

"Yeah the doctors say she'll be alright. I rang Lance and we're gonna head in to see her later. You coming?" Gwaine asked.

"Yeah, what time?" Merlin asked.

"About two or so. My ma wasn't exactly happy last night." Gwaine commented. That was an understatement. His mother Sinead had initially been furious when Gwaine had been brought home by the police but when she found out what had happened, she refrained from disciplining him too much; instead reminding him of the seriousness of the situation.

"My ones weren't pleased either. Fucking hell at least Gwen's alright." Merlin stated as he rubbed his eyes.

"I know, we'll call for you later." Gwaine replied.

"Right good luck." Merlin said and hung up. Merlin ran back up the stairs and pulled off his t-shirt and changed his clothes before returning down the stairs and entering the kitchen. Hunith and Balinor were sitting at the table eating breakfast and looked up as Merlin walked in.

"How are you son?" Balinor asked as Merlin sat down and reached for a piece of toast and slowly chewed on it.

"Fine," Merlin shrugged. "Gwen's going to be alright. We're going to see her later, me and the lads."

"Merlin," Hunith sighed. "What happened last night? What were all of you doing out?"

"I don't know Ma; it's all just a blur." Merlin replied. All he could remember was him and Gwen trying to find the lads and seeing Morgana before Gwen was shot. Morgana…

"Merlin you need to know that you can't just be careless about this. I need you to listen to me," Balinor began and Merlin cut across him.

"I know Da." Merlin replied and he got up from the table and returned up the stairs. As he shut the door behind him, Merlin flopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling.

Last night had shown him the truth. He and Morgana had been lying to themselves. There was too much hatred in the world, in Belfast for them to be together. Everyone had been fighting and rioting last night simply because someone had a different religious/political viewpoint to them. How were they supposed to think they could last together when if their friends knew the truth, they would be put into danger? If Helios and Nimueh found out he was dating a Protestant whose dad was the head of the RUC or if any of Morgana's friends found out he was Catholic, the consequences would be horrendous. This was reality; this was the world they were living in. Catholics and Protestants were just too different. He hated to admit it, but he honestly couldn't see them working out. Merlin thought about the night before; flashes of it ran through his mind.

The fighting.

The bottles and stones flying through the air.

Seeing Morgana.

The gunshots…

All of it seemed like a horrific nightmare but it had been real. These were their lives. Guns, bombs, riots, hatred, violence, how on earth was there supposed to be peace in Northern Ireland when so much hatred and terror existed? It was impossible.

Morgana slowly made her way down the stairs to find Arthur sitting in front of the TV channel hopping while eating cereal. "You look a wreck." Arthur commented as Morgana flung herself onto the sofa.

"Couldn't sleep last night." Morgana replied. "Dad at work?"

"Yeah," Arthur said as he flicked onto the news and Morgana swiped the remote to stop him from changing channels. As expected the main story was about last night.

"_There was widespread rioting all over Northern Ireland as the annual Orange Order marches and celebrations to commemorate the Battle of the Boyne descended into violence. There were clashes and rioting in cities all over Belfast. Cars were burnt, both nationalist and unionist homes were attacked, shops were destroyed and many people have been hospitalised all over the province. In Belfast alone at least two dozen people are reported to have needed hospital treated and amongst the most severely wounded are a man in his twenties who was struck by a stolen car and a teenage girl who had been shot in the stomach. While none of the conditions are said to be life threatening, many are in critical conditions in both Belfast City Hospital and the Royal Victoria Hospital. We now go live to London where the Prime Minister is to issue a statement concerning the riots."_

"I couldn't get over what happened last night." Arthur admitted as Morgana switched off the TV and hugged her legs.

"I know, I hope that girl's alright." Morgana replied; she hadn't met Gwen but she knew that she was the only one of Merlin's friends who knew that she was Protestant. There was also the matter that she had seen who had shot her.

"Yeah, I still don't know how we got caught up in all that shit last night." Arthur stated as he thought back to the night before. They had been watching the parades with the rest of the gang and the next thing they knew, it had all kicked off. They were fighting dozens of Catholics in the middle of the street, bottles, stones and anything that could be thrown was being thrown and it was total anarchy. Arthur himself had been fighting a tall black youth before Morgana found him and pulled him away. That was when the shots rang out and he, Morgana, Leon and Percy had all just run for it along with Cenred and Morgause. It was one thing to hear about people getting shot but it was another altogether to be right there.

"Does Dad know?" Morgana asked and Arthur shook his head.

"I was talking to him this morning and he asked me if we were out last night but I told him we weren't. If he finds out we are dead." Arthur replied.

"Yeah tell me about it." Morgana said as she pulled herself off the sofa and went up the stairs to get a shower. As she stood under the hot water, she thought about what had happened the night before. The last thing she had expected was to see Merlin there with his friends. They'd all just been caught up in the chaos and when she'd ran the last thing Morgana had seen was Merlin and his friends trying to stop Gwen from bleeding out onto the street before Arthur pulled her away to get to the car. Morgana needed to speak to him; she needed to know that all of them were alright and that the two of them would be alright. They could overcome this, they couldn't let their differences force them apart the way the rest of Northern Ireland had been. They had never let their differences come between them before; hopefully last night hadn't changed that. They still had a chance.

Didn't they?

At five past two Merlin met Gwaine and Lancelot at the end of their street and they walked out of the Falls and towards the Royal Victoria which was within walking distance. As they walked, Merlin looked around the streets; there was some debris from the night before but most of the rioting and fighting had taken place further into the city. The three teenagers continued towards the hospital and as they reached it, Merlin led the way into the reception area and approached the desk.

"Excuse me where can we find the ward that Gwen Rooney is in? She was brought in last night." Merlin asked and the woman consulted her notes for a moment.

"She's in the ICU, if you follow the signs you'll find it." the receptionist replied and the three followed the signs to walk up the stairs and down corridors until they came to the ICU. Merlin led the way into the ward and spotted Elyan and Tom sitting at one of the beds at the end of the ward. Tom was dozing lightly but Elyan was sitting on the chair holding Gwen's hand and looked up as they walked over.

"Hey," Elyan muttered through a yawn. Gwaine, Lancelot and Merlin stood awkwardly around the bed where Gwen lay. Gwen was still unconscious and hooked up to different machining making rhythmic beeping noises. They couldn't see the bandages around her waist but she'd been changed from her clothes into a hospital gown. Merlin looked down at his friend and felt a sense of anger and frustration course through his veins. How could someone callously shoot someone else and then run away? Who was the shooter? Did they even know what they had done? Would they feel remorse for shooting someone? Or would they be sickly proud of themselves?

"What did the doctors say?" Lancelot asked Elyan.

"Apparently she was lucky. Two bullets went in but missed all her vital organs but they were able to get them out but," Elyan trailed off awkwardly, unsure whether to share the rest of what the doctors had told him and Tom.

"What is it?" Gwaine asked seriously.

"When we were in the ambulance last night she was bleeding really bad, the paramedics were even saying that as soon as we got to the hospital I was to ring Dad just in case. One of the bullets just missed her stomach but the other one was lower down and causing most of the bleeding. Apparently she was almost haemorrhaging and to save her life they had to do a full hysterectomy." Elyan explained as he rubbed his eyes quickly.

Merlin frowned at him confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means they removed, _y'know._ And basically it means she'll never have kids." Lancelot explained shaking his head.

"Shit," Gwaine breathed. "What did the cops say last night?"

"Asked me what happened and I said we were heading back and got caught up in all of it; we weren't rioting but trying to get away when it happened." Elyan replied.

"What were you all doing anyway?" Merlin asked, that was the one thing he didn't know. Elyan, Gwaine and Lancelot rarely got involved with fighting and causing trouble so why did they start now?

"We were on the green with Helios, Nimueh and the rest of the gang and literally the next thing we knew we were surrounded. You know what those two are like; there was abuse being shouted but before it kicked off the cops came and we all separated. I swear we were coming home but they followed us and it all kicked off." Elyan explained. "What happened with you guys?"

"Got brought home, parents flipped but we told them what happened." Merlin replied. "This is just messed up. How long will Gwen be here for?"

"Don't know, they said she'll probably wake up this evening and it depends. She'll probably be here for about a week or so. But she's alive so that's the main point I guess." Elyan answered through a yawn.

"You should get some sleep mate," Gwaine said and Elyan shook his head.

"I'm alright." Elyan denied even though he was exhausted.

"We're going to head on anyway. Ring us tomorrow if she wakes up." Lancelot said and the three teenagers clapped Elyan's shoulder and squeezed Gwen's free hand before they left the ICU and began wandering the streets before returning home again.

Morgana had been restless all day. She couldn't sit still, wasn't hungry and was debating whether or not to ring Merlin before finally picking up the phone after Arthur had gone to Leon's. Morgana carefully dialled Merlin's number and waited for him to answer. She needed to speak to him about last night. The dial tone seemed to taunt her before someone finally picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Merlin, it's me." Morgana said quietly even though she was home alone.

"Oh. What do you want?" Merlin asked, he wasn't exactly in the best of moods right now.

"We need to talk about last night. How's Gwen is she alright?" Morgana asked as she twisted the phone cable around her fingers nervously. She hoped so.

"She'll live, no thanks to you." Merlin replied shortly and Morgana raised her eyebrows.

"What do you mean 'no thanks to me'? I didn't do anything last night! I was trying to get out of there. Besides you were there too." Morgana retorted. She hadn't been fighting or rioting, she'd been trying to get home and be safe.

"You ran Morgana. You saw her get shot but you didn't do anything." Merlin snapped; he was angry, he was confused and he needed to lash out at someone anyone. Morgana however could fight fire with fire.

"What could I do Merlin? Someone had a gun and Arthur pulled me away. I was scared all right? I was fucking terrified, of course I was going to run. I'm sorry but if it had been one of my friends shot wouldn't you have done the same?" Morgana challenged.

"Don't you dare try and turn that on me! I saw my best friend get shot last night, she's in the ICU in the Royal Victoria hooked up to machines and she nearly bled out last night in the ambulance but it's more than that. I know nothing's going to happen. Nobody saw the shooter and it was a Falls girl who got shot so who gives a shit? You just don't get it." Merlin retorted. Last night had opened his eyes to the truth about them and about the world they live in.

"Try me," Morgana replied, stunned by Merlin's furious tirade.

"I realised the truth last night Morgana. We were wrong. We were wrong about this, about us. We live in the same city but we may as well be living on different planets. If someone gets shot just for being a Catholic or a Protestant, what would happen to those who date a Catholic or Protestant? None of our friends know about the real person we've been seeing and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of looking over my shoulder when I go and see you, I'm sick of lying to my mates about you. I really do like you Morgana but this can't work." Merlin admitted. He had been sitting up all last night thinking about it and the bottom line was that it was too dangerous. With all that was going on all over Northern Ireland, people getting shot and blown up and their homes firebombed simply because of their nationality or faith; what chance did they have?

"Why can't it work? Merlin I really like you and I know you really like me. We never let our differences come between us before so why should we start now? I know it's hard; we're practically living in a warzone but if we don't try then we'll never know." Morgana replied. She honestly believed that they could prove that their love could overcome every barricade both metaphorical and literal that were put in its path.

"That's the point Morgana, I know nobody called it that but this is basically war. People get hurt and people get killed and you know as well as I do what will happen if we stay together. I don't want you to get hurt but if your friends found out, how would they react? How would they honestly react?" Merlin asked and Morgana was silent. She knew that Arthur, Leon and Percival would understand after she explained it; they wouldn't like it but they'd understand. Morgause and Cenred however…

"I thought so." Merlin replied when Morgana failed to answer. "I'm sorry Morgana but I don't think we should see one another again, it's too dangerous. I already lost someone I loved because of the fighting, I don't want to lose you too."

"Are, are you breaking up with me?" Morgana asked; Merlin couldn't mean that but she knew at the back of her mind from the moment she'd heard his tone of voice when he answered the phone that it wouldn't bode well.

"I'm sorry Morgana." Merlin sighed.

"Merlin wait-" Morgana said but all she could hear was the buzzing of the dial tone. Morgana put the phone down and wrapped her arms around her knees. She wasn't going to cry. Morgana sat hugging her knees thinking about what Merlin had said and jumped at the sound of a key in the lock, she quickly wiped her eyes as Arthur, Leon and Percival walked into the hallway.

"What's wrong with you?" Arthur asked his sister with genuine concern, Morgana never cried.

"None of your business." Morgana snapped and she hurried up to her room, slammed the door and buried her head into her pillow.

Merlin put the phone down and sighed deeply. He hadn't wanted to finish things with Morgana but he'd had no choice. He really did love her but they were just too different to be together. The reality of last night had also stirred up some painful memories which he thought he'd overcome. Merlin shook his head and hurried up to his room and shut the door before flopping onto his bed. His mind was racing with various painful thoughts and memories of different events; all of them were vivid reminders of the world they were living in and why it was too dangerous for a Protestant and a Catholic to even know one another, let alone fall for the other.

Running hand in hand with Morgana from a car bomb that was about to explode.

Reactions to reports of car bombs, shootings, firebombed houses, massacres by British soldiers, the UVF and IRA.

Everyone's hands being covered with Gwen's blood as she bled out on the street.

The day Lancelot told them the reason why he lived with his grandparents.

Gwaine crying in the school playground the day after his father was interred.

Losing Freya…


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for all your reviews and support. **

Arthur frowned as he stood outside Morgana's bedroom door. He wasn't stupid, he knew the signs of someone having been dumped but he didn't get it. When he met Merlin the guy seemed alright, a bit annoying but not too bad. Besides if their father approved then he had to be decent. Arthur opened Morgana's door without knocking to see Morgana lying on her bed. As he entered she rolled over away from him.

"Get out." Morgana ordered but it wasn't in her usual snappish tone that was used when Arthur barged into her room. Arthur walked in and sat down on her bed.

"No." Arthur replied and Morgana sat up and glared. The effect of the glare was ruined due to her red eyes which only served to annoy Arthur too. Merlin made his sister cry; now he was going to pay. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's none of your business." Morgana retorted. She didn't need this. So much was going through her mind; Merlin, Gwen, the riot; the last thing she needed was Arthur sticking his fat nose into her business.

"You're upset that makes it my business." Arthur stated. They had their ups and downs but at the end of the day they were brother and sister and cared for one another as such. "If you want you could tell me where he lives and me, Leon and Percy could pay him a visit."

"You really wouldn't want to do that," Morgana replied. It was admittedly sweet that Arthur did want to be the avenging big brother but really if she told him where Merlin lived that was asking for hassle.

"Why not?" Arthur pushed. There was so much about this Merlin that he didn't know and Arthur knew that both Morgana and Uther were refusing to tell him something about this Merlin and for the life of him Arthur couldn't figure out what it was. Merlin obviously had no paramilitary connections otherwise Uther would have had him arrested by now and Morgana wasn't fool enough to start seeing a Catholic, especially since she was friends with Morgause and Cenred so what was it?

Morgana looked at Arthur and knew it was no use hiding the truth anymore, she had to come clean. "He lives in the Falls." Arthur looked at Morgana in shock. "The Falls Road, not far from the Royal Victoria,"

"I know where the Falls is. How could you be so stupid?" Arthur asked. Dating a Catholic from the Falls Road with their dad being the head of the RUC, did Morgana honestly have a death wish for them all? They always were on alert because of Uther's job. Anytime they wanted to use the car, they had to check underneath for any bombs; growing up Uther drilled into them that if a stranger asked, they had to say their father was merely a policeman. It all sounded stupid but that was what they had to do in order to survive. Nobody could be trusted anywhere in Belfast these days and if you weren't one, you were the other but either way you had a lot of enemies no matter who you were.

"Shut up Arthur! God, you're so prejudiced. Merlin wasn't like what you think. He was nice and funny and would never even dream about hurting me or any of us. He didn't care about my faith or Dad's job so just wise up would you?" Morgana snapped. Arthur tried to be open-minded, Morgana knew that but it was just the times they were living in. Arthur looked at Morgan and attempted to work this out. Merlin was a catholic from the Falls. Morgana had told them all that Merlin was protestant but now that he thought about it, Morgana had never told him where exactly Merlin lived; now he knew why.

"Ok so tell me the truth. Where did you meet Merlin and how long had you two been going out?" Arthur asked, if he knew the full story then he would be able to make more sense of this and be less likely to drive to the Falls, find Merlin and kick his ass for hurting Morgana.

"We met back in March at that youth club thing, Merlin had been one of the acts competing against us. He played the bodhrán and his friend Gwen did Irish Dancing to it, remember?" Morgana asked and Arthur thought back; he remembered the competition and after a moment the image of him standing by the side of a stage watching a pretty dark-skinned girl in a short skirt dancing along to a rhythmic Irish drum beat by a skinny teenager came to mind. "Well I got talking to him then, we swapped numbers and had a date the next Saturday, the night I came home early because of a car bomb in the city centre."

"Did you see it go off?" Arthur asked and Morgana shook her head.

"We were in the next street though but yeah, we'd been together since then." Morgana replied and she looked down at her quilt as she thought about what had happened over the weekend. As expected that was Arthur's next question and she tried to explain. "I rang him yesterday asking about Gwen, she was the girl who got shot on Sunday night and I tried to explain that neither of us expected to end up there but he just went mad saying how it couldn't work out between us and stuff like that; we were too different to be together and all that crap."

"You have to admit he does have a point besides he was obviously really angry and worried about his friend. She almost died and he needed to lash out. Give him time," Arthur offered and Morgana nodded. Arthur got up off his bed and left the room. As he shut the door behind him, Arthur debated on what he could do. As much as he liked the idea of giving Merlin a damn good piece of his mind for hurting his sister, Arthur wasn't fool enough to go to the Falls seeking a fight. Obviously he couldn't let any of the others know what had happened or about Merlin but there had to be something he could do. But what?

Merlin walked into the ward and stared at the empty bed. He could have sworn he was in the right place and as he looked around, a nurse approached him.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm looking for my friend Gwen Rooney, she was here yesterday." Merlin replied and the nurse nodded.

"She's been moved into the High Dependency Unit, follow the signs and you'll get there." The nurse instructed and Merlin walked out of the Intensive Care unit and followed the signs pointing towards the HDU. Merlin stepped into the ward to see Gwen sitting up in bed before she seen him and smiled. Merlin hurried over and hugged her tightly causing her to wince as her stomach moved.

"How are you?" Merlin asked as he sat in the chair beside the bed.

"Still pretty sore considering but apparently I was lucky. What about the rest of you, was everyone else alright?" Gwen asked as she leant back on her pillows and absentmindedly rubbed at the tube running down her arm that was connected to an IV.

"Aside from getting the crap scared out of us we're grand. Where's Tom and Elyan?" Merlin asked.

"Dad's at work and I told Elyan to go home. They'd been here since Sunday night and only left about an hour ago. I woke up last night at about ten, doctors checked me over and moved me in here because I was awake. They said I have to stay in here for two weeks just so they can make sure I'm alright." Gwen explained as she looked around the ward. Two weeks of lying up in bed with nowhere to go or nothing to do but wait for people to come and visit her.

Merlin smiled, he knew Gwen too well. "That sounds like fun," he quipped. Gwen was one of those people who had to be kept busy and hated feeling lazy.

"I'm missing a feis too, still one of the doctors said that if one of the bullets had been about that much higher up it would have hit my spine. Scary stuff huh?" Gwen explained and Merlin nodded. Sunday night had undoubtedly been the scariest night of their lives. For once they were participants in The Troubles, Gwen was now officially a statistic; a victim of The Troubles. Merlin rubbed her arm and looked at Gwen, she was the closest thing he had to a sister. Merlin couldn't handle the thought of losing her.

"I thought we were going to lose you." Merlin confessed and Gwen braved a smile. Tom and Elyan had told her the same when she'd woken up and she had put on a brave face then. Until they had told her the extent of her injuries. Even then she waited until she was alone until she cried. Not for herself but for the children she would never have all because some asshole decided to pull out a gun and shoot into a crowd of teenagers.

"You didn't though. It takes more than that to get rid of me." Gwen reassured before looking again at Merlin. There was something else that wasn't right about him. She couldn't put her finger on what it was though. "What happened?"

"I dumped Morgana." Merlin admitted and Gwen looked at him. As far as she knew things were going pretty well between them. As well as things could be expected obviously but still, why? "We were just fooling ourselves. It couldn't work between us. I mean we're just too different. It wouldn't have lasted anyway and it was better for us to stop before anyone else got hurt."

"Merlin I've known you since we were four and I can honestly say that is the biggest load of crap you've ever come out with. You and Morgana make a great couple, you told me that she never made a fuss about you being Catholic or you about her being Protestant. She's good for you Merlin, you know she is so don't be stupid and throw it away over something as daft as this." Gwen insisted; with everything that was going on it was good to see Merlin and Morgana proving that things didn't have to be as bad as everyone believed. That a difference in religion or political views didn't mean two people couldn't find love.

"Daft? How is all of this shit 'daft'? Look at our lives Gwen; how many times do we have the police and soldiers around our way? How many times do people get searched? What about Lancelot's parents, Gwaine's dad, your mum and god only knows how many other innocent people who've been killed? Look at you, you're seventeen and because of some bastard with a gun you'll never be able to have children. Look at this shit going on around us; people getting shot and blown up because they're catholic or protestant. It's not going to end Gwen. That's why I ended it, it was better to do that than risk Morgana getting seriously hurt someday because she dared to love me." Merlin explained in a tirade, not caring that the other patients were either sleeping or with their own visitors.

"Merlin take my hand," Gwen said after a moment of silence. Merlin looked at Gwen and took her hand, lacing his pale fingers with her dark fingers. "See this, not even twenty years ago this was seen as 'not the norm'. My dad told me and Elyan that when he was a kid some children weren't allowed to play with him, not because he was Catholic but because he was black. That changed Merlin, I'm not saying it's gone away entirely but it's not as strong as what it used to be. What I'm trying to say is that people here managed to overcome prejudice concerning skin colour and they'll do the same with religion."

"But people haven't went to war here regarding skin colour have they? If anything equality was what started this shit in the first place. Those civil rights marches turned to violence and the next thing people are bombing and shooting anything and anyone. There's too much bad emotions here. It'll never change." Merlin countered, taking his hand away. It wasn't going to change, it was better just not to get involved anymore. Don't rock the boat and you won't fall overboard.

"It will Merlin but it just needs time. I have to believe that things will change because if they can do it for skin colour, they can do it for faith. It's all about making your own stand. You have a choice Merlin, you can lie to yourself and claim it's never going to chance or you can take a chance of happiness. It's up to you." Gwen reasoned. She had to believe that things wouldn't always be like this. Even know lying in hospital after almost dying, Gwen was still holding onto her belief that someday peace in Northern Ireland could be reached not matter how long it took. There had to be some sort of ceasefire someday. Right?

"What about Freya?" Merlin asked and Gwen looked at Merlin and felt a damper on her own emotions as she remembered Freya.

"I know it was hard Merlin but there was nothing any of us could have done. It was nothing we could have controlled. Besides if she was here do you think she'd like seeing you like this? All mopey and depressed? She'd be telling you the same as me; go for it. You have nothing to lose except possibly the best thing that could ever have happened to you." Gwen explained. Merlin nodded slightly and smiled at Gwen.

"When did you get so smart?" Merlin asked and Gwen shrugged her shoulders.

"I was always a genius Merlin, you know that." Gwen retorted as she gave Merlin a one-armed hug before he got to his feet and left the ward, promising to visit her again tomorrow. As he walked out of the ward, Gwen nestled back onto her pillows and thought about Freya. Freya and her family had lived on the same street as Gwen and Merlin and she had been in their class in primary school. Sweet, shy and clever, Freya had been a quiet child until Merlin and Gwen befriended her on the second day of primary school when they were playing Tag and needed a third player. From then on the three of them had been inseparable throughout primary school. When they had moved onto secondary school there had been signs of a possible future relationship between Freya and Merlin and eventually when they were fifteen Merlin had asked Freya out. They had been together for six months when it happened.

Freya's house was firebombed by the UDA, it was a case of mistaken identity but it was too much for them to handle. After the insurance on the house paid out and vowing never to return to Belfast, Freya's father bought a house in Dublin and the family moved down south. Anytime Freya had managed to call them, the number was always withheld and they had no forwarding address either. Freya's leaving had broken Merlin's heart. Indeed Morgana was the first girl he had dated since Freya left. Gwen could only hope that Merlin and Morgana found a way to get back together. But how?

"Excuse me, are you Gwen Rooney?"

Gwen was jolted from her thoughts as she turned and looked at the young man who was standing by her bed. He was tall, blond, blue eyed, good looking and she felt a sense of familiarity as she looked at him but she couldn't place him in her mind. The stranger was holding a small bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates and clearly felt awkward about the situation judging by the way he was tapping his feet off the floor and flexing his fingers around the items he was holding.

"Who wants to know?" Gwen asked, cute or not she wasn't going to let just anyone near her. She wasn't that naïve.

"My name's Arthur Pendragon, I'm Morgana's brother. I was wondering if you could help me with her and your friend Merlin. They've had a fight and I want to try and help them but I need you to help me." Arthur explained to the girl lying in the hospital bed. She was prettier than he remembered and he was suddenly glad he had stopped at the hospital shop before heading to the HDU ward.

"That depends;" Gwen replied seriously before smiling. "Are those Dairy Milk chocolates?"

"Yeah," Arthur replied as he set the flowers onto the cabinet beside Gwen's bed and handed her the box of chocolates which she opened and held out to him.

"Sit down then," Gwen smiled and they began talking. About Morgana, about Merlin and what they could do.


End file.
